Dad Entry #21

The other night, after I delivered an especially spirited Christmas prayer, Michael asked me, “Daddy, is God real?” I said, “Yes, God is real, I believe God is real.” He must’ve sensed my answer wasn’t a ‘slam dunk’ affirmative. So he had to clarify the question and asked, “I mean, does God walk on two legs?” I smiled and said God could do that, in fact he did and I was about to tell Michael how his question was so apropos since it was Christmastime…. but I was interrupted by Michael who was suddenly excited, “Or can God fly?!?!?!” Michael brightened a bit as he considered the cool possibilities. I agreed God can do anything but told Michael we’ll discuss this more in the future, for now we should be grateful for what God has given us and we should love one another, I think that would be pleasing to God. Michael quickly switched gears back to dinosaurs. What a question though, and at Christmas, “Does God walk on two legs?” Who needs theologians or philosophers when we have 4-year-olds?

Dad Entry #20

Michael’s favorite song right now is “Thunderstruck.” Nice! AC-DC still makes my hair stand up. An important legacy for my son. He liked a “Rusted Root” song I played for him too; it had a quick beat, a lot of percussion. We listened to both songs on the way to the “Cabelas” superstore nearby. Papa John has taken Michael to Cabelas in KC before. He loves it. They have taxidermied fish and animals all over the place. Bears, hammerhead sharks, even a safari scene with a rhino, lion, etc. They also have a pair of huge fish tanks with freshwater fish like bass, trout, catfish, panfish. But our prized discovery was a ‘snakesy,’ a stuffed rattlesnake. Michael started chirping in his high-pitched, ‘baby animal’ voice. It’s difficult to describe, it’s the voice he gives his animals – including his ‘snakesy’ and ‘pillpo’ at home – when they talk to him or each other. Michael is very imaginative; he weaves terrific stories and scenes. He narrates aloud as he acts out the scenes with the animal figures – or cars or trains – he is playing with. “Then the baby sperm whale said to the dolphin, ‘Watch out! I’m going to dive for a squid, and you should be jumping at the dolphin show,’” and on and on. But the high-pitched ‘baby’ voice of ‘Michael the narrator’ can be grating. It reminds me of “Caddyshack” when Bill Murray gives a voice to the gopher. Or the voice of “Toonces the driving cat” from Saturday Night Live. “Oh noooooooooooo!” says Toonces the cat as he drives off the cliff. So at Cabelas, Michael saw the rattlesnake and lit up with excitement. “Snakesy, snakesy, snakesy, snakesy!!!” I think I noticed a sideways glance from a couple of crusty hunters. The kind of guys that stop at Cabelas to buy bullets. So they can chew on them and spit fire. Actually, we were all kids once (except for Chuck Norris; he was born with a beard and he roundhouse kicked the obstetrician in the face). So, anyway, we all had annoying ‘play voices’ and our favorite toy animals. What? “Speak for yourself,” you say? Fine. But I‘ll admit it, I probably had a high-pitched, ‘play voice’ too. Of course, my ‘animal stories’ were always one animal kicking another animal’s butt! I can’t wait for Michael to start writing down his stories some day. They’ll be great! Maybe we can write together. He’s an inquisitive, creative dude, and I think that’s a great blessing.

A Snow Bunny and A Snow Brachiosaurus

So about 6" of snow came down a few days ago, and the kids freaked out. The morning that we woke up to it was a school day and I COULD NOT FIND MICHAEL'S BOOTS! Are you kidding me? He was the pariah of the class, and had to stay inside as the other kids gleefully slid down the mini-hill on the playground and threw snowballs at the teachers. I left preschool that morning and went directly to Lands End and bought another pair of boots (to ensure finding the other ones). So these pictures are from that afternoon after Meg woke up. Both of the kids were in absolute love with the snow...Michael so much that he "snuggled" it. Megan just kept saying, "I fall down, I fall down."

Food Chain

Last night, as we were reading yet another book about dinosaurs, there was a picture of a salmon on one of the pages. Michael said,"Mom, when you say 'salmon' it makes me want to have ham, which is a kind of meat, which is protein for my body."

The last part of the sentence was said with a Sean Connery accent. I kid you not.

Dad Entry #19 (Sorry, a long one but I make two movie references and even mention Michael!)

Yeah, I really should say a little more about my son. What’s his name again? Of course, I actually spend more time with Michael, as Megan’s response to my presence is, “I want Mommy.” Thanks, Megan. I love you more than anyone else times ten and that’s what I get. Nice. (Wow, I’ve already switched gears to Megan. That didn’t take long. Michael got one sentence. It might be best if I never let Michael read this. ‘Journal? What Journal? That thing Megan’s reading? Oh, that; it’s nothing.’)

In case you’re wondering, or, rather, in case you’re ‘accusing’, I love Michael more than anyone else times ten, also. Actually, it’s times one-hundred! One-thousand! One-million!!! (And not an outdated ‘one-million’ underbid like that from Dr. Evil).

Michael’s not very timid, at least when he’s in familiar surroundings, with family or friends or the preschool he’s attended for a year or so. I wouldn’t call him aggressive, but I wouldn’t call him wimpy, either. I really narrowed it there, didn’t I? Michael will invade someone else’s space, maybe even relieve them of a toy if it’s one he wants (and he gets scolded for it). So what am I trying to say? Hell if I know. I’m like every parent – that’s why it’s a cliché – I’ve got a product here with no instruction manual. A son. And it’s the most important thing I’ve ever been affiliated with. Oh well. Actually, I guess I’m saying – what any father would say – ‘I want my son to have some toughness.’ When it’s needed. Michael has it, no question. (Now the issue is, ‘when is it appropriate to call on?’) But where does Michael’s toughness come from? Yes, of course. I know. Sara. Michael inherited toughness from his mommy. But I think it’s also because I had a personal ‘Forrest Gump’ realization. Remember when Forrest visits Jenny, near the end of the film, and Jenny points to this little boy sitting in front of the television. “He’s yours, Forrest,” is what Jenny says. I was touched because Forrest, despite his limitations, has self-knowledge and he turns to Jenny and Jenny senses his concern. “No Forrest, he’s the brightest kid in his class.” Awesome. So anyway, my thing is I don’t want Michael to be a 'worrier', I don't want him to worry about trouble or confrontation, to avoid it at all costs. A lot can be avoided or circumvented - and it should be, especially needless, pointless trouble - but some confrontation is inevitable in life, dealing with it is essential. So I want Michael to face it head on, not avoiding or denying or being unprepared for it, not facing it ‘head down’. I want Michael to understand this, despite, say, the fact he regularly sees me with head down receiving orders and tongue-lashings from Sara. He might think a man has to operate this way. No, a ‘man’ doesn’t have to operate like this, just a ‘husband’. I’m kidding. And Sara doesn’t give me tongue-lashings. Very often. Uh, only when I deserve it. Do you see why I’m concerned!!! But not like Forrest exactly. Though I will be nothing but proud when Michael surpasses me in intelligence, like, when he’s in 5th grade. The problem is good 'thinkers' are often good 'worriers'. I just want to make sure Michael isn’t too risk- or conflict-averse. My silly, juvenile way to address this concern: lots of rough-housing and wrestling and roaring like dinosaurs and physical activity. For some reason, I think this helps. So I regularly tackle Michael and put him in an arm-bar or some other Brazilian Jujitsu hold I learned watching Ultimate Fighter. Michael’s at a tiny disadvantage. He’s too young to watch violent UFC bouts (otherwise he would surely learn faster and more than me). And I outweigh him by 150 lbs. My cousin Josiah, who actually trained with these fighters a while back, taught me a move or two, also. Michael says, “Daddy, don’t put me in a body triangle,” as I maneuver him into a leg lock where I have both his legs and arms pinned but I still have one of my arms free to tickle his armpit and ribs. Michael has fun with it. He’ll laugh and grunt and growl and grit his teeth and wrestle ‘like an orca’. I hope this translates to Michael gritting his teeth and persevering when life demands it. Of course, what we also see, on occasion, is Michael gritting his teeth and staring down Megan in a kind of threatening pose. Like he’s ready to rip that whale he wants out of her hand. But he pauses and doesn’t do it. Most of the time. And we remind Michael that you don’t act ‘tough’ and take toys from your cute, little, two-year-old sister.

But it’s okay for Daddy to act ‘tough’ and wrestle with four-year-old Michael. Hmm?

Shock of all Shocks

He gives "her" a kiss! "Her" being the girl who is constantly relegated to the garbage!

Minnesota Zoo

So here is Michael and his cousins and the cousin of his cousins, Vinnie. They might have sat here all day, but we made them leave.

Thorough Thought Process for a 4-year old

Conversation on the way to get hamburger buns at the nth hour:

Me: Should we go to CVS or Eurofresh (grocery store)? I think we'll go to Eurofresh, I want to make sure we get fresh buns.

Michael: What does fresh mean?

Me: Fresh...like yummy. Not hard.

Michael: Hard to chew or hard to make?

Dad Entry #18

Meggie had a good Thanksgiving. I didn’t really pay attention to anyone else. I took videos of her talking, singing, dancing, eating, saying “No Daddy,” as she turned away, annoyed – no doubt thinking get that camera outta my face – annoyed like Jennifer Aniston with paparazzi circling. Yes, I am Megan’s paparazzi. But no, Megan will never get dumped, not by a megastar like Brad Pitt, not by some pimply-faced Joe-teenager. No offense to pimply-faced boys. I was one myself. Megan’s so cute I want two-year-old Peg-pie frozen in time, captured for eternity. She’s talking more these days, expanding on old favorites like “Dit self” and “I nee dat” (which, translated, mean ‘Leave me alone, I want to do it myself’ and ‘I need that cool thing over there that someone else has right now’). Meg sings “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” and her ABCs. She’s kind of a ham once she’s going, actually, which is surprising, as most of us had her ‘pegged’ (no pun intended) on the timid side of quiet. Maybe not. Though maybe I prefer timid. Timid but strong, really strong. Megan also sings an old family favorite that starts with “Bilo baby buntin’, Daddy’s gone a huntin’….”

We went to an indoor jumping gym last week. Lots of blow-up jumping areas and big slides in a high ceiling warehouse. Megan is gutsy. She couldn’t get down the slide fast enough her first time. It was a big slide, especially for Megan, maybe 10 stories for a little pint like her. At the top, Megan beamed a smile and wiggled free of the arm that had hauled her up – my arm, which was on fire with lactic acid. Once free, she scrambled for the shoot a couple feet away and – whoosh! – down. She loved it. Getting her to the top another 500 times wasn’t easy, though. We tried but she couldn’t make the climb by herself. In less than 30 minutes, at least. And the boys climbing behind her would get restless. But I didn’t care about the boys, I was thinking more like the 500 reps would turn into a paltry 50, and Megan wanted to SLIDE! So no Everest for Megan. Yet. Maybe just a skydive. Oh man, I hope I don’t have to go with her. Sara? I did my part at the gym though, scaling the rope ladder while carrying her, pulling myself up with one arm, trying to get my adult feet anchored on kid-sized ladder rungs without slipping, then falling backwards and wiping out all the little kids climbing behind me like bowling pins. I got some looks from nervous moms (including Megan and Michael’s mom). There were some other adults on the equipment, though maybe I was the biggest. Michael slid too, but, God bless him, he had to really think it over first, agonize a bit, assess the probability of grisly injury. Michael is very bright. Apprehension comes with that territory, I’m afraid. One of my favorite quotes right now, from Bertrand Russell:

“The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.”

Well said, Bertrand, though you were an atheist I think, so I don’t always agree with you.

We also went to the Minnesota Zoo. Michael was mesmerized by the marine life there, sharks, dolphins, rays, crabs, shrimp, Nemo, Dory and tons of other fish. They didn’t have any whales but the big sand tiger shark, the leopard shark pool and the dolphin show momentarily took Michael’s attention off of sperm and bowhead whales. Michael’s a big triceratops fan now, too.

**A FOOTNOTE FROM MOM
about how maybe Michael being so bright is adding some anxiety to his life. He asked me this yesterday: "Mom, are humans going to get extinct soon?"

A Park Day

Dad Entry #17

Well, I survived a weekend without Sara. She flew back to Kansas City for Becky and Chad’s wedding. Here’s what I observed: Michael is perceptive, bright, and manipulative. Megan is the sweetest thing ever. Unless she’s angry. Which happens a lot. And Megan always takes her socks off. Ice rink, blizzard, bed of coals, it doesn’t matter. Ice-skates, moon-boots, firewalker shoes with flame retardant soles. Regardless of need or environment, they will come off. Then the socks. In a few months, I’ll hear a grunt and turn around in our snow fort; one little foot will be bare already and Megan will be pulling hard at the other sock that is elongated but still catching on her heel.

I also observed that kids spill things, and dump things… everything. I suppose parents should head off these messes. Anticipate. Prevent. Come on, Dad! No open box of cheerios within reach of Megan. Cheerios and Cheerio dust everywhere. But it was fun for Megan; she giggled quite a lot. And beware of cups and elbows. It seems there is a ‘swing diameter’ for kids’ elbows, a danger zone not directly in front of the child, but offset to either side. If a glass is placed within range of the elbow, the odds it will get knocked over are quintupled. Actually, there are no odds; it is a certainty. Death, taxes, and chocolate milk everywhere. We spilled a lot of water this weekend, too. On Sunday, Megan asked for “Chicken McNuggets.” She said the words clearly, albeit slowly, and it was very cute. So Megan got nuggets.

Halloween was great. Sara did a masterful job on Michael’s costume. She definitely put some hours into it! But it was worth it, he was proud to be a Killer Whale! Though he felt obligated to clarify – for a few confused people who just wanted to compliment and give candy to a four-year-old – that, “Sperm Whales are really the largest predators in the ocean, but Orcas are the fiercest hunters, they hunt in groups called Pods and eat seals and Sperm Whales only dive down and get fish and squid but did you know that Orcas and Sperm Whales are toothed whales and there are other whales called baleen whales….” Michael doesn’t notice yet when the eyes of his audience glaze over, or reveal concern or astonishment or a frantic desire to escape. I think I recognized all those sentiments while I was with ‘Michael the Killer Whale’. Megan loved her costume, too. The wings were her favorite; she wanted them on all the time. Though it was a bit challenging for her to sit in a chair or lay down with big wire-wings on her back. Whenever she saw them, she practically squealed, “Wings, wings, wings!” What a doll.

The Colony

Megan has recently discovered the joys of nudity. "Naken gull! Naken gull!" ("Naked girl") she yells at all times. As in "Take my clothes off!"

One More Since it is TOO Cute

I mean, really?! they are HOLDING HANDS, for pete's sake.

All Saints Day...oh, Fine. Halloween.

So the kids officially LOVE Halloween. The amount of candy in our house at this moment is staggering...it is more than I would want my children to eat in an entire YEAR, yet they seem hell-bent on polishing it off by Monday. Don't tell, but I am going to weed it down to a respectable level and take the rest to the food pantry in town. Anyway, many of you are waiting for pictures. Please note Michael's new chica. It has taken some time, but he has finally gotten over (and seemingly completely forgotten about) Caitlin, who went to a different preschool this year. THIS is Haley.

Dad Entry #16

Thanks for the comments. We enjoy them. Feel free; it lets us know at least one person reads the blog (‘one’ happens to be the number of comments we’ve gotten this month I think). Alright then, what’s new? Well, Megan’s more of a chatterbox lately. That’s good; she was maybe a tiny bit language delayed. No worries; she can almost keep up with the rest of us now, griping and carrying on. Although, she does say sweet things once in a while, like, “Hi Daddy” or “Bye Daddy” or “Daddy hold you” or “Daddy Hep” or “Pees Daddy” or “Daddy, pees hep” or “Daddy, dink” or “Daddy, chap-tick,” and so on. FYI, pees = please, hep = help, dink = drink, chap-tick = chapstick. My favorite, though, is most definitely, “Daddy, fix it.” When a toy comes apart or her toy stroller seat comes loose, yep, she knows who to talk to! And if you’re wondering, the answer is ‘yes’ I have, though only once or twice, sabotaged a toy just so she’ll look up at me, hold out the toy, and say, “Daddy, fix it.”

Michael continues to be, well, kind of mean to Megan. It’s tough to admit, and we’re working on it. Though, really, we shouldn’t be that surprised. It was that way for Sara and me, too. Our older siblings were the same as Michael. Cruel. Just kidding! (Sara and I both have only one older sibling; although, in our cases, both are sisters… and both are wonderful, of course.) Megan seems to be more accepting of Michael, handing him toys, sharing, watching and learning from him, talking to him. But he mostly views her as an annoyance, ignoring her and then, when she touches a prized toy of his, he says, “No, Megan!” loudly and takes the toy away from her, yanking it out of her small hands or dashing ahead of her to the spot where he anticipates she’s going to – GASP! – pick up and play with one of his whales, or an instrument, or his favorite book that day.

It’s cute that Megan really likes certain themes or characters that were formerly favorites of Michael’s. For example, Thomas and Percy are making a comeback! And last week I must’ve read the Cars book about ‘Sow-ee and McKeen’ a hundred times to her. Sweetheart. The only thing keeping her from being the perfect daughter – other than the damage she does during temper tantrums – is the fact she still very much prefers her mother. For everything. “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy.” Yeah, yeah, ‘Daddy ain’t nothin’… but he’ll keep tryin’, one of these days you’ll trust him more than Mommy!’

My heart swelled a little this weekend – it was so cute – because of Megan’s response to my taking a chocolate shake away from her. I bought one shake to share after dinner. Sara and I put a nice dent in it, then gave it to Megan. Well, she got after it; the straw would’ve been gurgling in the bottom of an empty cup if we let Megan have it for 30 more seconds. Not to mention the crippling brain freeze Megan was headed for. So it was Michael’s turn. Except, he was busy trying on his Orca costume – and that’s a story for another time, like Halloween. But Michael hadn’t gotten his share of the shake yet. So I took it away from Megan and set it on the banister next to the TV, to wait for Michael. Megan grumbled a little, maybe flailed her arms for a second and kicked at some toys on the floor. But then she was suddenly calm. ‘Hmm,’ I thought, ‘Megan exhibiting a little anger management. Nice.’ But that wasn’t it at all. Megan was in problem solving mode. She trudged all the way to her stool by the fridge, grabbed it, and lugged it all the way over by the TV. The stool is practically bigger than she is. But she got it in place, stepped aboard, then reached up – on her tiptoes – for the shake. She could just barely touch the cup. She couldn’t move it, couldn’t grab it, but she was trying. I think she might’ve fallen off the stool if I hadn’t intervened. I gave her one more sip.

We Just Can't Get Enough

of the pumpkin farm. We went with Grandma and Papa Mike AND Aunt Jenny, Uncle Scott, Alissa and Ellie! We had apple cider, apple donuts, apple pizza...well, ok, really only cheese pizza. The kids had tons of fun hanging out and jumping off the stone wall and we had quite the little photo shoot amongst the pumpkins. Oh, and the older kids got a little sneaky outside the john.

Dad Entry #15

Michael asked Sara if they make “small wet suits, like wet suits for kids.” I was pretty impressed with the question. These days, Michael wants to be a marine biologist. Gone, or back-burnered at least, are his dreams of driving a train or a racecar. He would prefer to swim with cetaceans (for those of you who failed biology – which must include me since I didn’t even recognize that word or know how to pronounce it, the first 'c' sounds like an 's' and the second an 'sh' – ‘cetaceans’ is the order that includes whales, dolphins and porpoises). So Michael is making plans to swim with whales; he’s thinking, “Hmm, I’ll need some scuba gear and a wet suit. Except – uh-oh! – the only gear I’ve ever seen on TV and in books is for adults. Oh shit!” JUST KIDDING. Michael doesn’t know that word. He knows ‘cetaceans’ but not ‘shit’. Man, we are good parents. Just kidding about that too. I wish Michael knew more about sharing and less about baleen. More about picking up toys and less about brass instruments. Michael still has trouble being nice to Megan, sharing with her, helping her. And some days I wish Michael knew more about things like homeruns and touchdowns. But his interests are great and they keep changing. Trains, cars, instruments, whales. I think Michael connects things well; he goes pretty deep into the details of his favorite subjects. Like wet suit sizes. He asks good questions for a four-year-old.

Random

I always feel like the moment I put up pictures, another daddy entry appears. Not that I don't like the daddy entires...I love them. Love, Fury, Love, Fury was one of the best descriptions of my lovely lady I have ever heard. Anyway, I am going to throw up another few pics so we can see some cute faces. Maybe subconsciously, I know it makes Dan want to write.

Dad Entry #14

I love Megan. She’s like a little explosive device. Or a severe weather pattern. A beautiful calm (before the storm). Then the storm. Big storm. Blessed calm again (and time to clean up storm damage). Then Hurricane Megan is back. She screams, flails and throws. She’s very fast (that part I’m kind of proud of). Her little hands can grab, push, slap, hurl and swat things in a blur. She lays waste to everything within reach. All because we gave her oatmeal instead of waffles. I know, Megan, you want waffles and you don’t understand grocery lists and trips to the store, how items must be purchased and brought home and prepared. And, alas, sometimes we run out of what we want! Especially those things we over consume, like wine (which Mommy drinks a lot of when you act like this) and waffles (the only thing you will eat this week, Megan) and now your milk cup is bouncing off the floor and I hear Velcro separating because you’re ripping off your bib which you will fling into the air momentarily. Here’s a high level view of Megan’s attitude cycle, her daily thought process. “Life is wonderful. Life is unbearable. Life is wonderful. Life is unbearable. Love. Fury. Love. Fury.” And so forth. It kind of goes like that.

Michael asked me this last night, “Daddy, if there is danger, does a mommy Orca protect her baby Orca from danger.” Yes. “Does the mommy Orca eat the danger?” Yeah, I suppose she could if she wanted. Orcas are the biggest predators in the ocean, other than Sperm Whales (which, Michael tells me, will dive deep and eat a big squid once in a while). Orcas will eat sharks, bears, other whales, etc. I wish I was so tough I could 'eat the danger' like that!

Dad Entry #13

Meggie practiced a valuable skill yesterday. All day long. She put her shoes on, then took them off. On, off, on, off. Her patent leather shoes, too. Fancy. It’s good practice for a woman, I guess. They buy a greater variety of shoes than most men (excluding Papa Mike, for example, and cross-dressers). Yes, women wear shoes with lots of different straps, buckles, snaps, heels, ties, laces, etc. And velcro. Velcro is an option if you’re a two-year-old chick. Or, probably, if you’re really stylish or eccentric. Meggie’s shiny shoes have velcro straps, which she mastered in a day. Good job, Megs! You’re learning the important things, Sweetheart! I will take care of you until you’re 40 anyway. Then your husband can start helping a little. Maybe. Just kidding, calm down all you feminists. Actually, I heard a minister talking about how God is as much woman as man, how women are not to be submissive; they are equal (funny, now I hear all you women saying, “Only equal? Ha! We’re better!”). This minister admitted his thinking was most definitely influenced by having a daughter. He said, “Nothing turns a good man into a raging feminist faster than having a daughter!” Very true. My daughter will NOT be submissive to anyone (the Bible only hints at that because it’s culturally conditioned). The Big Man in the New Testament was radically inclusive when it came to women, despite that being very contrary – offensively so, in fact - to the cultural norms of the day. Actions speak louder than words. Anyway, Meggie will have every opportunity. She can be the first woman President if Hillary doesn’t beat her to it. First NFL quarterback, first Cy Young winner, the real ‘G.I. Jane’ (first female Navy SEAL; and Megan’s more beautiful than Demi Moore), whatever. Actually, no military or football; she might get hurt. And Major League pitchers are often injured by shots hit back up the middle. So that’s unacceptable. But first woman to beat Tiger Woods works, or first person – man or woman - on Mars (although I’ll have to inform NASA that simple redundant designs won’t do on Megan’s spacecraft; we’ll need multi-redundant systems in place – can we do multi-multi-redundant, please? - to guarantee her safe return). Man, I do have more sympathy now for Danica Patrick’s parents. My parents got to know them a little through Bobby Rahal, and I had breakfast with them at a race once, too. I showed Bev Patrick a picture of Megan and she ooh-ed and ahh-ed over how cute Meg-Pie is. There are a significant amount of fatalities in racing, Indy-style racing in particular. Sorry, Megan. No way.

And for the record, in support of feminism: Michael is four and still needs help with shoes that aren’t flip-flops or slip-ons like Crocs.

I got home from a softball game recently just before bedtime (bedtime for the kids, I mean). Michael, already in his PJs, greeted me at the door and noticed it was dusk. He asked me, “Hey Daddy, can I come outside and see the darkness?” Michael goes to bed all summer before sundown. Being outside at night – aka seeing ‘the darkness’ – is pretty novel to him, at least in early fall, when it’s been months since the short days of his last winter. Four-year-olds haven’t experienced that many seasonal transitions. The seasons and changes are pretty awesome. One reason to stay in the Midwest. Maybe the only reason. So Michael and I walked around the yard just after dusk. We looked at the moon, some bright stars, looked at airplane lights as they approached O’Hare. We enjoyed some deep breaths of crisp, night air. He commented on the American flag and sign at our neighborhood entrance which appeared to glow in the spotlights. Michael was sort of in a state of wonderment. Call me crazy but it was a powerful moment for me. We take a lot of simple – but still cool – things for granted. Sunrise, sunset, the night sky, changing temperatures, fresh air, cool grass on bare feet (Michael enjoyed that, too).

Cider, Anyone?

So because it was about 150° yesterday, we thought it would be a GREAT day for the pumpkin farm! It has been uncharacteristically warm around here this fall so far, and something about pumpkins, cider and candy corn just does not mix with heat exhaustion. I don't know what it is. We met friends there, and a good time was has by all. All the kids, at least. We were all too hot to really even pay attention to what they were doing. Michael and Meg were thrilled as they basically ate caramel apple and cookie for lunch. Bad mommy.

We're Going to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo...You can come Too, Too, Too...

Michael wanted to go on the carousel SO bad...and after Grammie bought the tickets and they got in line, the waterworks started. "I don't WANT to go!" We (well, ok, I) forced him to, since we had the tickets and goodness knows one should not waste $1.50. Turns out, it was fun! He got to ride on an "orca-looking" dolphin. Yea!!

A Young Richard Avedon? Or maybe Man Ray...

Michael got ahold of, and figured out, my camera. Following are a few of his gems. There were so, so many to choose from.

Dad Entry #12

Sara, you turkey, you've already updated my age on the header above to 32. I was thinking you'd forget for a while so that, unbeknownst to the world, I could remain 31 for a while longer.

Dad Entry #11

After reading a whale book, Michael told me that orcas fight bears. Recall that orcas are killer whales (Michael had to teach me this). Anyway, Michael said orcas win because they are more ‘bitery.’ Phonetically, that’s ‘bite – er – ee’ and, as Michael clarified for me, “It’s like the word bite, Daddy.” He must’ve known his word was not so common. I don’t think he would’ve stopped, furrowed his brow, and felt the need to clarify otherwise. It’s funny; it’s like a feeling-out process with the language. But Michael speaks with authority. He didn’t ask me if ‘bitery’ was a word; he told me what it meant! Come to think of it, he is a know-it-all chatterbox at times. But we’re happy he’s good verbally. He’s expressive and clear; and he’s unafraid to try new words which, at his age, can result in made-up or ‘non-words’ (e.g. ‘bitery’) and mispronounced words (e.g. ‘scupa’ diver). I don’t correct him much yet; I don’t want to squash his creativity. He’ll be challenged and corrected a million times in life – especially if he gets married – so I let things like ‘bitery’ go for now. And obviously I knew what he meant. Orcas have bigger mouths and bigger teeth. The Chicago Bears defense is the toughest thing on earth but bears, as a species, are simply not in the same weight class as orcas. After all, male orcas can weigh-in at over 6 tons. They can eat 500 lbs of food a day. And yes, they will, though rarely, take polar bears as prey. Wow. By the way, did you know that a blue whale’s heart is the size of a car (and it can pump 60 gallons of blood per minute)? Nature is amazing. Michael knows this – that nature is awesome – but I seem to have forgotten momentarily.

Sara and I are going to re-tile our master bath. So I’m ripping out the old tile this week. Michael is ‘helping.’ He mostly pounds nails into the sub-floor, only a little bit so I can just yank them out with my hands. He also pokes around in the little gap between the drywall and the floor, stuff like that. I have to keep my eye on him, though. Not for safety reasons – with hammers, chisels and tile shards laying around, who cares about safety (just kidding DCFS). It’s because I heard, “Look Daddy, I’m working on this thing here.” Michael was referring to the exposed air vent. He’d mangled the aluminum air duct opening. Yikes! I was able to bend the opening back to its previous rectangular shape. Sort of. But in the spirit of not stifling creativity – as above with his uncorrected use of ‘bitery’ – I cringed but commended him on his good craftsmanship. Then I told him to alert Daddy before he undertakes any special projects – like HVAC improvements – and, yes, I told him he can cause damage if he’s not careful, if he does things incorrectly, or if he does things I haven’t okayed first. I’m the foreman, I told him. The contractor. And he’s a laborer. So he has to take orders. And get used to it, I told him. And then I think I mentioned ‘marriage’ again.

My Megan update: she’s cute. The other day she was caring for her baby. She wrapped up her baby, a.k.a. dollie, in a blanket. She held it, rocked it and fed it with a toy bottle. She said "dollie" a few times in her sweet, soft voice. Then she got flustered – because she’s so cute I had to give her and her dollie a hug – so she frowned, whined and twisted away from me. Then she tossed her baby and it crashed headfirst on the hardwood floor. Ouch!

Brief Exchange with Michael

We are having a lousy day. The kids are grumpy and mean and I am an angel, of course.

They just ate lunch and then headed into the living room to play. I walked by the door and saw Michael looking for me guiltily.

I asked him,"What?"

He replied "I'm NOT hitting MEGAN!!!! She's too far AWAY from me!"

I said (facetiously, of course), "Is that the only reason?"

He said, "Yes."

A Day Out

In a cute downtown near us. We went early and stopped in for coffee as we got started. Megan and Michael got chocolate milk. We then got cheese popcorn and fudge for breakfast (or maybe it was lunch by then). Megan sometimes forgets that when she uses a straw, she doesn't have to tip the glass...long story short, she dumped it all over her lap (click on photo to see large). We decided to stay a bit longer, until people giving us "looks" over the fact that Meg looked like she had had serious blow out all over her pants drove us out of town.

Speaking of Daddy Love

Here is a cute one. I asked Meg to "snuggle" daddy's head.

A Snuggle

A rare glimpse at a snuggle with Daddy. This happens so infrequently, that it is a bloody miracle that I got it here. At the zoo. Like sighting an almost extinct animal.

The Scar

After Dan had gone on about how scars are cool for guys, when I did finally take off the LAYERS of bandages, he said, "WOW. That is really bad." Great, so now I can't fall back on the "it's cool" mentality when I look at my perfect son's not-so-perfect eyebrow. Now it's just not perfect.

He's a Natural

Speller, that is. A few days ago, Michael yelled, "MOM! I spelled PUZZLE!" When I looked over, he had this going on on the side of the fridge. Nice.

Dad Entry #10

Megan was feverish yesterday; she’s getting her molars or maybe it’s a little cold / flu bug. Fevers subdue her. She slows, softens; she’s very snuggly all of the sudden. It’s my personal heaven. I hold her and she leans her head against my chest, gets comfy, sighs. Very snuggly. It’s pretty wonderful. Maybe she loosely grabs my shirt with one hand but otherwise she’s very relaxed, warm, sort of needy even. I can take both her little hands and hold them in one of mine... and she doesn’t immediately whip them away and scowl or grunt, all irritated. No calls for Mommy either, no squirming or trying to spin away from Daddy – like she does otherwise when I just want a quick hug - no whining or repeating the same word over and over like, “Down, down, down.” No movie requests even, like “Shark Tale, Shark Tale, Shark Tale.” Last night I just held her for a while and we watched the Crocodile Hunter. Hmm, that doesn’t sound very fitting, very calming, it’s a very energetic show, but Michael was absorbing it all for us, watching and imitating, running “like a cheetah,” attacking my legs “like a lion,” and wrestling pillows into a death roll “like a crocodile.” Yeah, practicing a ‘death roll’ sounds pretty violent, but that’s what it’s called. Michael knows wild animals hunt and kill prey for food. It’s a fact of life. Death and taxes. Even so, I guess we should try to use friendlier words when available. Michael already runs around talking about ‘Orcas.’ Who calls them Orcas? Nobody. They’re Killer Whales. So be it, we’re getting PC with our animal terminology. Before Michael, I didn’t even know Orcas and Killer Whales were one and the same, that they could / should be called Orcas now. Fair enough, but I can’t think of another name or description for ‘death roll’ above. Sara told me Gretchen would like to hear more about me (Dan / Dad) on the blog, maybe a little less about the kids. Okay, sure. Umm, let’s see… I’m going to have spaghetti for lunch. And I wore my dark jeans and a light green polo today.

Dad Entry #9

Michael told me last week, at bedtime, “Daddy, I might get scared tonight.” I asked him what might scare him. He explained that the ‘Veggie Tales’ movie with the ‘Island of Perpetual Tickling’ wasn’t a good movie and that I should take it out to the garage right away, and then we should sell it in a garage sale. I said, sure, we can do that, or I could take it to work and give it away. Michael said that would be fine if I took it out to my car immediately so I wouldn’t forget to take it to work. I asked Sara, “What’s up with the ‘Island of Perpetual Tickling?’” I tickle and wrestle with Michael all the time. She said even though it’s animated, of course, there is a faceless, grim reaper look-alike who runs the island. Though I explained to Michael it’s nothing to be afraid of, I banished the movie to the garage. Michael also said he was scared of “the three letters.” When I asked him to identify the perpetrators within a recitation of his ABCs, he explained, “No Daddy, not like that, the loud letters.” And then I understood. Michael doesn’t like unfamiliar noises that are sudden, unexpected given the source, or just too loud. Industrial strength toilets in public restrooms, for example. The ones that are so loud when flushed it sounds like the whole room will get sucked in. Michael has entered many a public restroom with hands over ears. I guess loud flushes fall in the ‘unexpected given the source’ category. Who knew toilets could be so loud? The ones at home aren’t like that. (I wonder how often a child thinks - about anything worthy of comparison, not just toilets - ‘The ones at home aren’t like that?’) Anyway, sorry, getting back to the ‘loud letters’ bit, I realized Michael meant the big ‘THX’ banner before movies with THX surround sound technology. The ‘three letters’ fill the screen and the volume is slowly increased and blared. Meggie has a lot of words now. She totes around a cleaned-out mayonnaise container full of whale figurines. “Whales, whales, whales.” She also has a whale book she calls out for. She likes to read “Cake,” her Strawberry Shortcake book and who can resist when she says, “Hep, pease. Hep, pease.” It’s so sweet it’s hard to deny her request, even if she wants ‘help’ reaching an open bottle of nail polish, or Mommy’s glass of red wine, anything she will undoubtedly spill or break. Prompted by Mommy, Megan will advise anyone leaving in a vehicle to “Dive fafe.” And Mommy has Megan tell Daddy, “You a bum!” once in a while; it’s from her book ‘The Paper Bag Princess.’ Megan’s long hair is gorgeous. And when she runs, or laughs - or does anything - it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

Dad Entry #8

Today, I just wanna say thanks to my Godmother, Donna. She’s been a wise influence since day one for me. I think wisdom and humor are related. I think people who identify and contribute the latter – whether they realize it or not – possess the former. It’s relevant to the blog because I hope my kids have people like Donna in their lives, people that bring a smile to their face, just the thought of them even if it’s months or years between visits. Donna is still rolling her eyes at my description of her. Hey, I’m only offering my impression and God knows, with all my insecurities and idiosyncrasies, I have a distorted view of everything! But Donna is wise and fun and calming because she will offer a shrug and a laugh even if the topic deserves harsher treatment. I appreciate that attitude and the people who subscribe to it. Now, I hear you Ashley and George, but everyone deviates, once in a while, from their ‘steady state’ mode of behavior!

I think I See an Object!

Today we went with some friends to a cool little exhibit with these massive mosaic tile sculptures by Niki de Saint Phalle. It was seriously neat and the kids thought it was, too...Michael coined the phrase 'o' the day: "I think I see an OBJECT!" An object is a sculpture. Don't know where he picked up that lingo. But he and his friend Ben used it a lot today.

I think I See an Object! Part Two

Dad Entry #7

Sara, please remove your "Too cute" post and picture below. Megan's top is too tight. And where are her pants?!?!

You're Squishing Me!

A rare moment of the kids actually enjoying one another. Well, sort of. Michael tackled Megan and draped his entire body weight over her tiny body and then laid there posing for the camera as Megan, smiling since she's unsure of if this is supposed to be fun and if she should accept the "game" Michael is playing, squirmed to no avail. Not to worry, I promptly removed him after 3 or 4 pics.

Too cute

not to post. I think this one might get daddy through a few long work days. Look at the sweet face. You would never know a raging demanding independent diva inhabited that body.