About M 'n' m

Hi all. Thanks for reading. Lately, I have been posting here http://aboutmnm.blogspot.com/ and copying to, well, here, The Cox Kids Rock! But I might not be able to keep up in both locations. I will do my best. Please bookmark About M 'n' m and check it out once in a while. Thanks.

Dad Entry #190

Megan can play basketball. She scores with ease, and surprises herself with her agility and athleticism. She can shake defenders, get to the basket, and create shots. She's a slasher (like her old man, before he got old). Megan's no Usain Bolt in a sprint, but she's got lateral quickness and good hands. Let's hope she has a killer instinct, too. If so, she didn't get it from me. She has a nice irrepressibility, that's for sure. If I can get her to be as crabby about losing as she is about lots of other things... well then, I think she'll spurn mediocrity and be very good.

Megan’s team lost another game on Saturday, though. My girls have a losing record now. If you want something to agonize over, just coach some kids. Works for me, at least. If the kids are great – and thankfully, every kid I’ve coached has been terrifically unrotten – the process is a marvelous inducer of a kind of brutal, whiplashing bipolarity. It’s a rollercoaster for me, anyway. VICTORY! Defeat. MANIA! Depression. Clarity! Confusion. High-flyin’ confidence! Soul-crushing doubt. The girls are smiling, frowning, laughing, crying. I’m a skilled second-guesser, but I suspect many of us are. How much potential have I left uncoaxed? Should I coach the girls to defend harder? Should I urge them to be more aggressive, even if they bump and collide and hurt each other? Blah, blah, blah. Thoughts like this are a broken record in my head. The kids are bright, energetic, eager, earnest, impressionable, and aware of their performance. I allow this to ratchet up my hopes for them, and for me as a coach, and for us as a team. Maybe I’m too wishful, too empathic, too sensitive. This, of course, is bullshit, and a poor and maybe-not-even-true excuse I overuse. No matter, because I am still coaching and plan to continue. I just want very badly for my players to improve, be comfortable, express themselves, enjoy, and WIN, GODDAMMIT!

Dad Entry #189

Michael's fashion sense is minimal. This is normal, of course, for a ten-year-old guy. I would argue Michael’s style is ‘comfort,’ but even that’s false; he wears old jeans that are so tight at the waist I’m afraid the button will pop off and ping around the room and take out the fish tank or an eyeball. Michael’s a fast grower and some of his shirts and pants get overstuffed; not as bad as Bruce Banner’s, but the comparison comes to mind. Anyway, regarding Michael’s fashion leanings, I wonder if a preppy or grunge or goth or sporty phase is on the horizon. Skater, surfer, rock star, Ivy-leaguer, GQ-wannabee, hipster, hippie, rastafarian, chic nerd, nerdy nerd, jock, gearhead, country boy, warm-up-suit-wearer, chameleon, smooth-operator, skinny-tie guy, skinny-jean endurer, whatever. What’s it gonna be, Michael? I made half of those up, I don’t know what they are either. I hope he's all of 'em. Michael’s in fifth grade. My own renaissance came in seventh grade, since I was – and always will be, it seems – a late bloomer. It was junior high that saw me seized by a rabid case of turtleneck mania. I became a sweater enthusiast. I rolled my jeans. I wore cologne (and caused widespread eye-burning and suffocation, I'm sure). I had a pair of Guess jeans, a Benetton rugby, and a jade-hued Polo sprayer. Expensive birthday gifts. I was very lucky. I took it a step further at Christmas. I procured Monet’s palette in Kmart turtlenecks and cheap sweaters (via the puzzled generosity of my amazing loved ones). I had a unique, preppy ensemble for every day of the week! I started getting notes from girls! I had arrived! So, if I can get over myself for a second, I will say this: I’m curious how Michael will navigate and express himself during the appoaching years and phases and somewhat unavoidable superficialities and labeling. I will also say, very seriously, I want him to look and feel confident. Whatever that means, whatever that takes. And I hope he always helps me in that very same way. We’re in this together now, Michael.