Are You Kidding?

I must be the most negligent mother on the planet. My children have had more accidents and illnesses in the last few months than anyone I have ever met. Today, Meg split her chin open. In all honesty, I had a little something to do with it. Here's how it went down:

Megans bumper pad from her crib has been laying on the couch since The Night of Vomit. Washed, of course, and waiting to be stitched where it tore in the wash. She started playing with it. At some point, I thought it would be funny for her if I wrapped her up in it like a burrito. So I did, arms and all. As soon as I tied it off so it would stay on, I thought, "This is a bad idea. She could fall and she wouldn't be able to catch herself." And before the thought was even finished, she had wiped out and caught her little baby face on the wooden stool that the kids use to wash hands. I was scared to death to pick her up, for fear that I would be greeted with another set of snaggle teeth. But I had to pick her up, as she was wrapped tightly and could not move! So I did and at first all looked fine, until I caught sight of internal anatomy gaping in her chin area. AUGH!

But I have done this before. As I yelled at Michael to get on his shoes and get Megs, I had her cleaned up, butterfly bandaged and Motrin-ed within minutes. By the time Dan arrived at the pediatrician, she had already been Dermabonded and calmed. Now I think we'll go out to dinner to make her happy. Plus, I don't want to make it.

Did I mention that last night was The Night of Vomit II? Michael this time. And he was afraid to tell me, so he slept in it all night. So not only am I carrying around an Atlas-like ball of guilt, I now have some majorly set-in stains. He told me, "A stranger came in the night and threw up in my bed." What do you say to that? He's less afraid of the idea of a stranger entering his room than he is of my wrath. Wow.