Dad Entry #75

I've criticized Michael for being hard on Megan - and he is - but it goes both ways. And some days are just wonderful, like this morning, when Michael hit the mother lode; he stumbled on a forgotten stash of Pokemon temporary tattoos and generously split them with Mego. Then they gleefully set about covering themselves like Kat Von D and Jesse James (of West Coast Choppers - and Sandra Bullock - fame, not the wild west icon). Yesterday was a little different. Michael was having trouble with a stubborn button on his pants. I helped him, but Megan observed what was happening and said, "Daddy, I know how to do snaps and buttons now." Was this a jab at Michael? Perhaps. They are both skilled at poking and jabbing. What siblings aren't? Michael fired back, "Snaps are easy, Megan, everybody can do snaps." Of course, snaps weren't in the embarrassing spotlight. I couldn't tell if Megan was throwing salt or just reminded of a new skill and genuinely proud and maybe a little insensitive with the timing of her announcement. Negotiating buttons effectively is important when your favorite thing to do is dress up in multi-layered, massively-accessorized, cringe-inducing outfits. They are elaborate. They clash, they blind, and occasionally they have buttons. Regarding insults, Michael seems more aggressive to me - he is older and smarter so it only makes sense if you've ever observed humans in a rivalrous or competitive environment - although he's also more sensitive. And Megan gets in her shots too. No doubt about it. Megan will benefit like crazy from having an older sibling. I did. No question. It's huge. In the meantime, she'll have to put up with some comments I wish Michael would let go, arguments and corrections he should leave unspoken. Michael can be impressively condescending in his dealings with Meg. But he's only seven; children like to overassert themselves. So do insecure adults, unfortunately. Anyway, I have to remind Michael often that he's two years older than Megan; of course he knows more things than she does right now; of course she tells him things he already knows; of course she says things that are goofy or just plain wrong.

There is one thing, however, that gets under my skin. As I said, Michael will correct and argue with Megan once in a while - perfectly normal and she does the same to him - but when Megan cheerfully asks for Michael's attention, "Look Michael, I can jump into the chair!" or whatever, and he ignores her completely... yeah, that's the one thing. If you haven't noticed, I have a soft spot for this little creature that some say even looks like me. My heart swells a fraction at the slightest thought of her. So when she is proud and excited to show Michael something, no matter how small or silly, and he responds deliberately with... nothing, well, it tugs on my heartstrings. And my anger-strings. Michael is one of the biggest orbiting planets in Megan's solar system. The irony, of course, is that sometimes we ask Michael to ignore Megan. We purposely instruct him to pretend she isn't even there if she's trying to incite something. Irony is ever-present when you're a parent; it's ever-present when you're a person. Michael's a terrific big brother; he includes her in so many of his games; he tolerates her occasional ornery moments and spazzy behavior. He will look after her. His very presence when she is in high school will be huge. Literally. As I said before, she will benefit in a big way from having an older sibling. Especially one like Michael. I benefited; thanks, Jen.

Megan can be VERY dramatic, but, despite great enthusiasm, her antics are typically minor league stuff, your basic attention-getting efforts, crying and so on. Michael's drama is a bit more sophisticated and humorous. It comes with age, I suppose. Megan asked Michael a while back for a plastic container he was going to throw away (a plastic mayonnaise container with a big, blue, pull-off top). Michael said no. I said, "Why not, Michael?" And he answered, "Because I'd rather save the Earth than let Megan have it." Yikes! Save the Earth? That's pretty ambitious. I like it! I'm proud of you, Son! Well, Michael intended to recycle the container instead of toss it in the trash. Good for Michael, but, yeah, he came off as a bit severe, a bit righteous. Was Meggie left wondering if she had selfishly disregarded the welfare of our planet? No. Was this example all I could think of to illustrate my point? Yes. Megan seemed unphased by the implied anti-environment label Michael was pinning on her; she wants to save the whales and all that and everyone knows any accusation to the contrary is blatantly false. As for more examples of drama, I remember one time when Michael refused - and ridiculed - the meal choices I gave him (like turkey or PB&J sandwich, or mac & cheese or buttered noodles). Just like his sister does, although her complaints are more frequent than his! So I said to Michael, "Fine, I guess you'll have nothing to eat then." Michael's response: "Well, do you want me to live or die?" Live of die? No, I was not attempting to starve him. I most assuredly said, "Live," but I added, "I'd appreciate you living with a little more respect and gratitude, but I know you're just bummin' cause season two of Star Wars: The Clone Wars is over." Have I mentioned how awesome that series is? Check it out!