Dad Entry #85

Regarding Michael's ransom note below: he needs a lesson in forensics. I should point out, for example, that world-class criminals avoid leaving fingerprints, recognizable handwriting, DNA, and personal stationary (what Ash Grove paper is for the kids) at a crime scene. Every adult in America is an expert now after 17 seasons and 5 cities of CSI; although, I've often thought, it's too bad this education came after the OJ debacle.

Spoiler alert: do not read this paragraph if you still believe in Santa! Michael seems a little incredulous these days - e.g. "How does Santa cover the whole world in one night?" - but I think he's okay with hook, line and sinker if it means more presents! I was roughly Michael’s age when I cross-examined my folks; I poked big holes in every part - from Santa at the mall to the toy-making elves to the impossibility of scale already noted by Michael - so they caved and broke it to me gently, “It’s a special tradition based on a real guy named St. Nick,” and so on. I fear any day Michael will do the same thing, paint us into a logical corner, somehow mortally wound the charade. Maybe I sniffed it out a little early since I had an older sibling. Jen's good, but three poker faces must've been easier to read than two. I think Megan will be relieved when she finds out eventually; she's a bit afraid of this fat guy with magic powers who 'watches if she's naughty or nice' and runs around her house late at night on Christmas. And I’ll be quick to tell her she’ll still get a big present ‘from Santa’ on Christmas morning. We did.

Megan asked me, "Daddy, do you remember when I was three and I didn't even know how to write an M?" Oh geez, let me see, that was AGES ago.... I remember when Megan was only seconds old; when the doctor pulled on her head, elongating her neck way too much in my expert opinion, trying to free her from Mommy’s tummy. Funny, it just occurred to me that Megan LOVES giraffes.

I shoe-shopped with Meggie at Kohl's on Black Friday. Some Twinkle Toes Skechers caught her eye. They looked like jewel-studded Chuck Taylors to me. Megan said, "Daddy, we're looking for size 13." She sounded like a professional; it made me wonder if it's an instinctive thing in women, like hunting is in bird dogs. Although, no one even comes close to buying more shoes than Papa Mike. I can't throw a gender blanket on this one; it would make more sense to label it patriarchal heredity that skips a generation. "But maybe size 12 will work," Megan told me. Ok, good, I'd have no idea other than checking the shoes you wore in here. "Lift me up, Daddy, I can't see the shoes up there." Yes, Ma'am.

Michael told me yesterday, "I wish you could put love in the basket. Love is more valuable than money. Love is worth more." I didn't ask him if he meant the collection basket at church, a Salvation Army bucket with a bell-ringer, or what. It doesn't matter; his point is the same and a good one. It was a warm and sincere comment, and I agreed with Michael and started thinking about it, thinking about how it relates to him, his views, his place and direction in the world. Maybe it's too early to have these thoughts about Michael, but there's no one on the planet I love more, so I let my monkey-mind go. I hope Michael has these inspiring, transcendental realizations or reminders – e.g. love is more valuable than money – especially when things get messy, or his chips are down, and he needs a boost. But I also hope he doesn't wield them as excuses, or even worse, as foundational principles for a kind of arrogant idealism. I would say, "Love. But also work." Because both are rewarding in ways we can't foresee or imagine, and neither, by itself, is enough to be really happy in life. I think my Grandma Bev said that, or if she didn't, I gleaned it from watching her. And by work, I don't mean 9-to-5 for 'the man'; work can be a lot of things, creative pursuits, helping others; to me it's about staying active and having self-discipline. “The sky’s the limit if you have self-discipline.” That is my message for Michael. But self-discipline can be hard to maintain, so I’ll have to add, "And Dude… do as I say, not as I do."