Dad Entry #101

Megan's an ant-smasher. I'm not sure what it means. At least she's not repressing it. She usually stomps on 'em, but yesterday she used a rock and was a bit more surgical, hunched over, chasing and squashing as her prey skittered for the safety of sidewalk cracks or grass. Even Michael, alarmed by her blood thirst, said "Geez, Megan!" After that it got weird; before getting into the car, she handed me her weapon - the rock - and said, "Keep that, it's my 'Ant Smash Rock'. Can we write that on it, 'Ant Smash Rock', like with a pen or something?" I didn't answer; I was imagining Megan's run as 'Xena the Warrior Princess', filling the big shoes - literally I think - of Lucy Lawless in that terrible series that ended many years ago, thank God. Yeah, that won't do; they'd put her in a deerskin bikini and Uggs, something stupid like that. I'd prefer she was like Angelina Jolie's character in 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith' or 'Wanted' or 'Salt'. Actually, I remember those movies now, forget it, I hope she's an accountant.

Michael had his first zit. Pretty sure it was a pimple, a full blown whitehead, right between his eyes. He picked at it last night. And speaking of Lucy-Lawless-sized-feet, Michael's dogs are gettin' big in a hurry. It's all happening too fast!

Michael has a lot of baseball cards now. And he's been watching games on TV. He knows most of the good players. Gone are the days of:
Michael: "Dad, do you know who Albert 'Puh-jawles' is?"
Me: "I think you mean 'Poo-holes'."
Michael: "Oh, yeah, that could be. Is he any good?"
Me: "Albert Pujols? No, terrible, never heard of him. You can trade him to me though."

Is it just me or do individually packaged Velveeta slices last way too long? A million years from now, when the Earth is nothing but a barron wasteland of post-nuclear ash, they will find perfectly good cheese. If you can call it that.

Sitting to the left of Megan, hip-to-hip in the big chair, looking down at her long eyelashes and tan button nose, with my right arm around her, her head and sun-bleached hair in the crook of my elbow, watching her play the 'Hello Kitty' game on her Nintendo DS, listening to her narrate all the 'important' activities she's undertaking to get along in the game, while I take long deep breaths and sip green tea from my warm 'Master Kong Chef's Table' mug I have in my left hand... I think it was my perfect moment of happiness and health. I will try to recreate it again tomorrow.