Dad Entry #48

It’s official, Michael’s eyes roll up inside his head at the mere thought of it, his favorite food is……… bacon. Salty, greasy goodness. His ticker is frowning though. Can plaque build up during a person’s first decade? Nah, they’re healthy as horses. And active as ants.

I know I’ve mentioned this before: Megan adores Michael and he doesn’t always reciprocate. During games of hide’n’seek, I will be counting with eyes closed in the basement when I hear Megan crying. I holler, “What’s going on?” but I already know the answer. “I wanna hide wif my brudder!” Megan stammers through tears. I know without looking that Michael is blocking her from the spot he wants to hide in alone, under the stairs, behind the furnace, under a blanket, behind a chair. It’s kind of heartbreaking, but I understand that Michael wants a little space, too. Most of the time he lets her join him. (He bosses her around a lot in the process, though.) But she only tolerates so much, she’ll yell at him once in a while, or take a swing. Michael will lift his hands to retaliate sometimes but, by then, Sara and I are ready to pounce; Michael knows if he hits her back at all, even a tiny push or swat… not good. It’s maybe a little double-standard but not much. He’s a boy. And he’s older. And he’s bigger. And we scold Meggie for hitting him (sort of).

Michael likes brunettes. He has a really cute blonde classmate named Samantha. Sam and Michael play together often (we are friends with the whole family and meet outside of school, too) but Sara told me he insists they are only friends. So it wasn’t surprising today when Michael was suddenly enamored with a cute, brown-haired girl at McDonald’s Playland. She was a few years older and kind of aware he had a crush on her. Actually, she was probably too old to be running around playland. Hmmm. Cute and, well, immature? Or not so bright? Maybe just really down to earth, not too cool for playland? Or maybe she preys on younger men? I don’t know. I hope Michael learns to recognize that common occurrence also, among men, namely, our collective ‘not knowing'. Men will never really know what women think, what their motives are. We learn eventually that women are marvelous and wonderful creatures, but they are unpredictable, difficult to read, complex when we think it’s simple, and vice versa. If Michael is like every man before him, he will, many times in his life, be perplexed, mystified, baffled by the opposite sex. Embrace it all, Son, the beauty and the mystery!

Megan is the worst backseat-driver in the world. “Don’t speed, Daddy,” and “You have to stop at red, Daddy” and “Daddy, when it turns green, you can go.” Over and over again. Thank you, Baby, but Daddy’s driven a couple hundred thousand miles.