Dad Entry #132

Megan's cuticles need some attention. Real bad. Just sayin'.

I was the 'mystery reader' for Megan's kindergarten class last week. A mystery reader is a surprise visitor who - you guessed it - reads to the kids. When they saw me, one of them blurted, "Wow, you're tall!" and I wanted to give that kid 10 bucks. Hey, it was a nice thing to say, and like so much uttered by six-year-olds, it was spoken with near awe. So genuine and emphatic. You just don't get energetic compliments like that from adults. And I'm not that tall, actually. Anyway, my friends and I enjoyed a book about ladybugs. The kids all sat cross-legged on the floor. "Criss-cross-apple-sauce!" They hunched forward just enough they had to crane their necks to look up at me, like baby birds peering out of nests, or puppies. I was demonstrative and loud. I read with passion! Wonderful creatures, ladybugs! Everyone was attentive. Megan was front and center, right beneath my chair. She hugged my leg and beamed a smile and the world was just perfect for an instant.

Michael and I watched the last inning of the White Sox / Tigers game. Michael was pleased when the Tigers closer, Jose Valverde, came in. Valverde's a flamboyant character; he smiles big and hops around the mound, pumps his fists, and does other silly things. He's also an All-Star who's very tough to hit. He throws high-90's fastballs mixed with filthy breaking pitches. Nasty stuff. And he's big; he's 6-4 / 250. So I told Michael, "You're gonna be a big guy too, My Man, and if you put your whole body into it, every ounce of yourself, and deal it over 95 like Valverde here, and you have to precisely locate it, that's important too, but you'll figure that out," - at this point I had to stop speaking momentarily because I was working myself into a lather and breathless - "Anyway," I continued, "Michael, if you can do that, you can make millions and, AND... do you know what that means?!" Michael seemed both curious and concerned. Then he said, "I'll be rich?" I said, "Sure, yes, you'll be rich, of course, but what I was thinking is YOU CAN BUY YOUR OWN BARNES & NOBLE!!" Oh yeah, that got his attention!! Michael has asked, sincerely, what it would take to buy an entire Barnes & Noble store, and he's crystal clear about stating, "Not just the building, but every book on the shelves too." So, like any good father, I'm giving him practical advice, and an easy path to his dreams.

Michael and Megan often fight like cats and dogs, or, well, like siblings. Makes sense. When I tell them to cool it, they stop for a minute until, inevitably, one of them jabs or prods the other again - either verbally or physically - and the scuffle continues. That's when I'll give them a dramatic rendition of a speech, something short but lofty, something like, "Hey, knock it off and listen up! Is this what you want? Really?! You wanna be mean to each other?! You should reconsider... because this is life, and we're all in this together!!" Their annoyance is blunted by confusion after that, and only directed at me.