Michael has a rash. It spread quickly at first, but has abated some (kind of like reality TV addiction). It's scary if you take a closer look (also like reality TV). The skin on Michael's face is nearly reptilian in texture. It's like the bumpy leather of a good football or basketball. Although, maybe I'm exaggerating; it's not that bad. But I'm happy tonight isn't prom or homecoming or his first date with a VERY lucky girl. Other than bouts of itchiness, he doesn't seem bothered. I suspect he'll feel differently in a few years. He'll be less accepting of reptile skin. On his face. Spreading like a Colorado wildfire. He'll need some assurance these things are no big deal. Or maybe I'll take a different tack; I'll say, "Let the game come to you, Kid. When a reptile rash pops up, embrace it. Wear it. Own it! It's the new thing. You make everybody want one, you understand?" Kidding.
We go to pet stores a lot. There's a type of little animal, I think they're hamsters, with - I'm just gonna come out and say it - enormous testicles. I don't know why they appear so overgrown and disproportionate. And I'm not going to look it up for you. You have guesses, and probably one of them is correct. Imagine the comedy on Q&A forums online following this inquiry. Anyway, we passed by these rodents at Petland last night and Megan pointed and said, "I don't like those. They look like they have huge boy bottoms." I agree. My sweetheart. In Megan's world, your private areas are your bottoms, and if more specificity is required, the terms 'front bottom' and 'back bottom' can be used to differentiate. Also the terms 'boy bottom' and 'girl bottom' apparently. I think we covered this in Dad Entry #52 or something, but it was time for a refresher.
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