Dad Entry #104

Megan likes to make her bed. She organizes and props up her 'pets' - her stuffed animals - and straightens her sheets. She's so cute it's crazy. But she's irritated with me right now; She said, "Dad, how come you just wanna play baseball with Michael all the time?" This broke my heart a little. I said, "That's not true, Lover-Dove, I like to play with you too." Wanna go hit some balls off the tee?

Megan asks to do dishes now. No kidding. "Daddy, put some water in the sink please so I can do dishes." First of all, everything goes in the dishwasher, Sweetheart. I don't care if it melts. And second, my daughter ain't gonna do no dishes. That's what your husband'll be for. I suppose that's not funny.

I like to fold Megan's laundry. It reminds me that I have a daughter. And that she's small.

I'm afraid that every time I take out Megan's pigtail rubber-bands I pull out clumps of her hair. I don't hurt her; I know how to avoid that, and she doesn't wince or complain, and she's not developing any bald spots, but somehow despite excruciating care I end up with strands of hair entangled in my fingers, along with the rubber-band. It's a pain in the butt; how do chicks deal with this everyday? My current strategy for my own hair: let it fall out. It's working. I take out Megan's hairbands before bath-time. During her bath, I have a new habit of encouraging a quick rinse of the conditioner. Megan always responds by saying, "No Dad, you have to wait a few minutes, you have to give the conditioner time to condish." Condish? Whatever, it sounds cute and I haven't heard it enough yet to quit provoking her to say it.

Michael is so into baseball. I'll be in the middle of a bedtime story, an improv' one, to both Megan and Michael (sidenote: this is challenging as my audience is diverse, and, as I've whined here before, telling stories fluidly, creatively, vividly, like it's depicted in bedtime or campfire scenes in the movies is not so easy), so I'll be weaving something pretty silly but it's working; the kids are listening; I can tell because they're attentive, they add commentary here and there, and provide direction (e.g. I'll ask, "Should the Pirate ship fire canons at the Viking boats or make a run for the sea cave?" and the kids will answer). So I'll be describing how the warrior (who we'll have named something like Killabrew, Turkalew, Servo, Shen, Jimenez, or The Monk, The Blacksmith, The Joiner... all characters we've told stories about), anyway, I'll be telling how the warrior jumps off the castle rampart and lands right on the guard, but this sends them both sprawling, and they crash into the glass tank where they're keeping the mermaid, this is very bad of course cause the tank shatters, and mermaids need water - duh! - and they're miles from the sea - but we can dip her in the castle moat! - and the silence in the castle is broken now, more guards are streaming in, and dogs are barking suddenly, big ones like the Lindgrens' German Shepherds, but aren't dogs friendly to mermaids, can't they read each other's thoughts, and communicate telepathically; will the dogs help the mermaid and the outnumbered warrior?! And I'm getting kind of excited because here I've gotten the story to a crescendo of sorts, and as I said earlier, it's not easy to do this on a semi-regular basis, and then, and then, Michael will blurt, "Dad, is Matt Holliday having a good season?" You know how a balloon deflates, looping and twisting and shrinking. And the sound. Maybe I'm a lousy storyteller. But I know he was listening too, because he'd spoken up a few times about the story, but if there was a PC 'Task Manager' that I could open to see what applications are running inside Michael's head, right there next to 'Bedtime Story Program' I would see 'Baseball Card Appraiser'. It's pretty much a background app these days, always running alongside 'Eat', 'Drink', 'Be Condescending to Megan' and all the others, often interrupting them in fact with an urgent question or concern. I love it, and here's why: I remember being the same way. Obsessed with the value of my cards, which is driven by player performance, of course. We have a lot of OCD in the family already though, not sure I wanna provide or support perfect vehicles for its expression and remarkable development. But who doesn't love baseball cards? So I answer Michael, "Matt Holliday's production is down a little this year, Bud, in general I'd say, but Berkman has really picked up the slack for the Cards, and you've got Pujols to worry about too if you're a pitcher, so Holliday's gonna see good pitches, and I think he's been heating up lately; he's still Matt Holliday. Anyway, so the mermaid's beautiful shiny tail is starting to dry...."